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Mar. 31st, 2004 @ 10:42 pm
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Ignore that last entry, I went and used an old journal that I barely touched. I'm starting over there. if you find it great, I've already added those who keep in regular contact with me.
:)
That will be all
I forgot to add, if you'd like to be on the new one comment and we'll see. I figured since this didn't get many responses in itself, it didn't really matter :) |
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Mar. 31st, 2004 @ 09:09 pm
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I'm doing a huge friends cut because I don't need people who aren't interested in reading what I have to say reading my journal.
That's all. |
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Feb. 29th, 2004 @ 05:07 pm
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Post anything that you want, and post it anonymously. Anything. A story, a secret, a confession, a fear, a love -- anything. Be sure to post anonymously and honestly. Post twice if you'd like. Then, put this in your LJ to see what your friends (and perhaps others who you don't even realize read your LJ) have to say.
Figured I do this because I want to know some interesting things: Please comment anyone and everyone. I'm not screening this at all. |
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Jan. 25th, 2004 @ 12:07 pm
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jess: When I first saw you I already knew
There was something inside of you
Something I thought that I would never find
Angel of mine
d3adb0lt: =x i ain't no angel
d3adb0lt: i'm just a devil in disguise
d3adb0lt: >:]
=x i so am.Current Mood: FULL BASS I'M WAKING UP THE NEIGHBORS Current Music: Scorpion - Rock You Like a Hurricane 2000 (with Berlin Phil. Harmonic) |
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Dec. 2nd, 2003 @ 09:23 am
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This is kind of how I feel right now.... Sometimes I just wish it would go away.....
[edit]I changed my mind and decided to post a song I wrote during my insomnia last night. I'm not sure how many will understand it, but I certainly do.[\edit]
Angels are meant to Die
Staring into the back of minds, so much you see but can't trivialize,
everything is so conduluting, condecending your most gifted of gifts,
the blood trickles without notice down your spine.
Everything's expose, burning like hot steel on the skin.
Tearing into history, like a sin, only makes it worse,
Sometimes you just want ot put the barrel to your temple, pull the trigger,
it seems so simplistic, such a perfect plan.
Sometimes you just want to plunge the dagger deep into your heart, help
drag it deeper, it'll ease the bleeding of your soul.
Nothing seems so perfect, so obvious to your mind, spastic impulses cease to be sublime.
Pain seems so omipresent, beyond your grasp of reason,
Flooding emotions kill the nerves,
staring into the back of minds seems so surreal.
Never could ever make sense, it's not your own
History repeats itself, there is no other solution.
Sometimes you just want ot put the barrel to your temple, pull the trigger,
it seems so simplistic, such a perfect plan.
Sometimes you just want to plunge the dagger deep into your heart, help
drag it deeper, it'll ease the bleeding of your soul.
Nothing seems so perfect, so obvious to your mind, spastic impulses cease to be sublime.
It seemed so perfect, beyond the grasp of all,
Everything came crashing down, you burn no more,
your passion's gone, where have all the angels gone?
Can you feel them holding their breathe?
Can you feel them sitting on your shoulder?
It seems almost bittersweet something so sublime,
could lead to the line, 'Angels are meant to die.......'
Link to the rest of my songs with some edits from long ago.Current Mood:  crushed |
| » Bored before class |
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Personal
name: Christopher Alan George
location: Pleasant Hill/Santa Cruz, CA
religion: Harmonger. (sue me i just made something up)
occupation: Full time Playgirl model. Rock star on the side? RAWR
Appearance:
hair: Light brownish.. usually?
eyes: Weird deep blue
Style: whatever's on the floor style
make up: OMG I JUST LOVE MAKE UP
bodyart: I want to get a tatto either on my arm or wrist. I just think it will haunt me later.
wearing: nothing ;) rawr.
listening to: my roommate snore.
thinking of: too many things I don't want to.
who are you with: no one :\
Last thing
watched on tv: I don't watch much tv
said: 'Steve want to get piss drunk tonight?'
Either/or
club or houseparty: don't party much
tea or coffee: tea
achiever or slacker: whatever?
cats or dogs: dogs
single or taken: doesn't matter. When I'm taken I feel like I'm single, when I'm single I feel like I'm lonely nothing new.
pen or pencil: pencil for math... pen for whatever notes etc
gloves or mittens: gloves work
cassette or cd: cd... LMFAO I have to sport the old school RECORDS
coke or pepsi: pepsi usually coke is good too but I don't really drink it anymore
hard or mild alcohol: I need hard .. and a lot of it to get me drunk, which I plan on doing tonight
matches or a lighter: whichever
rikki lake or oprah winfrey: talk shows annoy me.
-Who do you want to-
kill: myself, but that's the easy way out
get really wasted with: myself.
look like: Christopher Alan George
be like: No one
avoid: everything
kiss: I'd say, but it just doesn't matter anymore
-Last person you... and when-
touched: umm... Jessica I think, we hugged or something
talked to: my roommate
hugged: Jessica, i think.
instant messaged: Dimarco I think
who broke your heart: Too many, and none of them ever know. It's better that way.
fought with: No one in the last day or so.
you talked to on the phone: Jason
-Where do you-
eat: everywhere
dance: anywhere
cry: Since when do I ever cry? I just run into walls
wish you were: 10 feet under.
-Have you ever-
dated one of your best friends?: not best friend but she was a friend of mine. Most of them are to start with. When I go on dates with them. It's weird.
loved somebody so much it makes you cry?: I dunno, I think I love somebody so much it makes my heart constantly sit in my stomach.....
drank alcohol?: yes
done drugs?: No, but sometimes I wish I had... but I can never bring myself to do it. It seems to easy of an escape.
broken the law?: yes... more times than I want to know.
ran away from home?: Kind of.
broken a bone?: Never. I never eat/drink calcium but I have bones of titanium cheated on a test?: nope, I've helped a lot of people cheat though, ususally off me. I dont really give a shit if I get caught.
skinny dipped?: nope. too self-conscious
played truth or dare?: Yes, but nothing perverted
flashed someone? Um... nope been flashed though ;-x
mooned Someone?: Nah, not really. Unless I was like 3 and didn't remember because I was running around naked.
kissed someone you didn't know?: Nope, but there was one person I thought I knew... So does that count?
been on a talk show/game show?: Nope, been in the paper a lot of times
been in a fight?: What kind? Arguments yeah, fist no. at least not one i'd admit to.
been on a plane? yes
come close to dying?: Came close, or looked like on tape, during football
cheated on your boy/girlfriend?: I couldn't, it would eat me up inside
gave someone a piggy back/shoulder ride?: All the time.
eaten a worm/mud pie? lmfao, I made my brother do it when we were little.
swam in the ocean?: yes, I only live by one.
had a nightmare/dream that made you wake up?: I don't dream :\
wanted to die: Every day of my life.
really kissed someone of the same sex: Nah.
-Relationships and mushy stuff-
girlfriend/boyfriend: Does it really matter?
when and who was your 1ast crush?: i don't feel like talking about it. Because I'm never good enough for them anyhow.
what do you first notice about the opposite sex: smile, personality
your idea of a perfect date: Whatever's comfortable
how romantic are you?: Too romantic
my ideal guy/girl: doesn't exist, I don't think :\
your first kiss: Amy, my only ex thus far..., then Vanessa, god was that a mistake I should have never done that.
do you have a crush: I repeat, what the fuck does it matter?
-What is-
the most embarrassing cd in your collection?: Umm... My sister bought me the 'scat man' cd, I don't even know where it is anymore
your bedroom like?: clea but not clean?
your favorite thing for breakfast?: I don't really eat Breakfast
your favorite thing for lunch?: food.
your favorite thing for dinner?: whatevers there.
your favorite restaurant?: eh. Food is food. I could live off the rationings of an Ethiopian and still be happy :\
-Future-
what day is it tomorrow?: Saturday
what are you going to do after this? Go to class, go to training, then get so piss drunk I don't remember the last week.
who are you going to talk to?: I dunno whomever comes my eay
where are you going to go?: this chair in my lecture hall
how old will you be when you graduate?: already did.
what do you wanna be?: King of the Universe? I don't know. Whatever supports me and my loved ones enough.
what is one of your dreams?: To wake up knowing it's all over.
-Are you-
a vegetarian?: nah
a good student: maybe at some point in life
good at wake boarding/snow boarding: yeah
a good singer?: I can't sing worth shit, and i know people will disagree
a good actor/actress?: doubt it
a deep sleeper?: sometimes
a good dancer?: I was made to take jazz lessons when I was like 11-12...
shy?: at times
outgoing?: when I choose to be
last words?: Carpe diem holds no bounds in a world where ideas are falsely juxtaposed to form a meaning for the benefit of it's benefactors.
On a side note, I think I'm going to get so piss drunk tonight that I won't remember anything, I don't want to remember anything. I really don't. :\
Nov. 21st, 2003 @ 08:23 am
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| » Hmm... |
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From now on my journal will be friends only.
Not like much goes on in my life but hey that's my choice :P
So if you want to be added, let me know and I'll add you or something.
May. 8th, 2003 @ 05:40 pm
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| » Noteworthy |
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This is a note to you all:
The Used sucks awfully.
That will be all.
Apr. 11th, 2003 @ 07:10 pm
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| » Yeah So I messed with my livejournal |
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Tell me what you think... Maybe the box color can be changed.... Or transparent. Lemme know. Thanks!
Apr. 3rd, 2003 @ 05:12 pm
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| » Explanation. |
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The name, the man, the explanation:
When deadbolts awake you from deja vu dreams, at four in the morning you know where I'll be. Out running red lights asleep at the wheel. The sirens feed my nightmares, I just close my eyes and I'm already there; its already too late. I know its nothing but lies, but they sound so sincere; I find them too hard to hate. She calls from the doorway "stolen water is so sweet,so lets drink in the darkness if you know what I mean. She calls from the doorway "stolen water is so sweet, so lets drink in the darkness if you know what I mean" and I'm almost sure that I've been here before, that this is not the first time I've stood in front of this door, with an overwhelming feeling that I shouldn't go in, but it seems this is a battle that i never could win and you, my true love! You call from the hilltop. You call through the streets,"Darling don't you know, the water is poison." And I say, "Come on and give me my poison."What have i done?" Is it too late to save me from this place? From the depths of the grave? We all are those ..who thought we were brave.
What have I done?
Mar. 29th, 2003 @ 06:12 pm
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dead_bolt's journal